On Friday, the Warriors announced their biggest signing of the year so far, agreeing to a 10-year, $30 million naming rights agreement with free agent multinational software corporation Oracle. The new name of the erstwhile Oakland Arena? Oracle. No, not The Oracle, just Oracle. (The Oracle would actually be pretty cool, although given the team's draft history, brutally ironic.)

So why is it that Warriors management can't coordinate their draft strategy with their coaching selection, and their blockbuster personnel move during the off season was bringing in a guy who didn't even play all last year -- Dajuan Wagner has looked great in the preseason and looks to be a perfect fit for coach Don Nelson's small-scale, up-tempo style, so it's a good move, but it's not like bringing in KG -- but they can pull off a naming rights deal with great fanfare? Hmmm.

Well, whatever the reason, it's got to be about making the team better, right? Team President Robert Rowell thinks so. In fact, he envisions the partnership with Oracle giving the Warriors access to huge scouting and situational probabilities databases, rich with statistics that hold the key to championship glory. Explains Rowell, "The Warriors are rapidly progressing [Editor's note: Rowell did not provide the metrics by which he is measuring the rapid progress of the team, however, SFist has it on good authority that they are the same metrics being used by Bush and Cheney to confirm the incredible progress taking place in Iraq.] toward our goal of becoming a championship organization, and partnering with Oracle is another sign of that progress. They are undoubtedly the best in the world at what they do. We look forward to tapping into them as a valuable business resource." [More like they're looking forward to tapping into greater direct marketing efficiency rates.]

Once again, the person on our site who works for Oracle had nothing to do with the writing of this post. They didn't even know it was going to be written. And neither did Steven T. Jones or Alix Rosenthal.