No, that's not former Saturday Night Live castmember Chris Kattan in the photo above and video below. It's real, live North Bay attorney Michael A. Fiumara, a lawyer who has apparently decided that a good way to get clients is to do an online commercial with a doll. And not just any doll, but a doll that offers him oral sex.

"Since 1992, The Law Offices of Michael A. Fiumara have been offering clients throughout Sonoma County, Marin County, & The Entire North Bay the highly skilled and experienced legal representation they need to overcome the challenges they are confronting," Fiumara's site reads. One of those challenges, apparently, is being a teeny tiny doll that can only speak when your lawyer squeezes your hand, if the promotional video is any indication.

Before we continue, let's go to the tape:

GOD, that was uncomfortable, wasn't it? (OK, now I sound like that doll.)

According to the Santa-Rosa Press Democrat, Fiumara says that the commercial "was envisioned as a satire about people who come from different walks of life, seeking his assistance, some of whom behave inappropriately."

The doll was "a leftover gag gift for a friend who got married," The PD reports, which means that not only is Fiumara a person who talks to dolls, he is a person who 1) acquires dolls that offer blow jobs to give as a gift and then 2) instead keeps the gift instead of giving it away.

Described by UC Berkeley ethics prof Bruce Budner as “bad taste, if that’s what you want to call it,” the video was recently on popular late-night humor show @Midnight. Host Chris Hardwick, (who you might recall from the after-shows for The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad, among other things) reportedly asked guests to “out-crazy this guy." It's unclear if they were successful.

Despite the show's attention, however, the talking doll video's only garnered around 18,000 YouTube views since its December 12 publication. But all that could change, perhaps, if the video becomes a franchise, like the Lord of the Rings or Saw films! For Fiumara, who compares the video to Charlie Hebdo (I am not even kidding about that), tells the PD that "plans are in the works for a sequel," haters be damned.

After all, critics, who Fiumara described as “cyberbullies," "don’t even know me...they are spewing hate.”

Thank goodness he has the love of that nice little doll, then.